My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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