I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
