new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
