white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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