Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
