she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
