She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
