She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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