I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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