i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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