I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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