Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It's blow job season.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
