idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize