Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
