Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Randomize
