That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
