The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
