if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
