i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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