ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
