Me too!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
