Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
