i would punch a child for taco bell
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
