So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
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The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
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You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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