Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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