he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
