the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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