Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize