You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
