you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize