Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
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There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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