gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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