But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
