Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize