my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My ass is underappreciated
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
