Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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