Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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