Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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