i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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