you traded sex for a burrito?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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