oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
