And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
is it fun? or sober?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
