Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
