More tranny stories later!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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