I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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