Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize