NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
