I think i peed on brittanys purse
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
