So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize