Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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