I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Me too!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
