I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
then he tried to convert me to islam
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
