we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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