i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
