but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This is the high leading the old right now
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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