please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
