what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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