he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
