Duck Duck Cougar?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
