yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
