he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.