I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
