Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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